Typically, when I meet people for the first time (and thereafter) I give them a hug versus shaking their hands. Even if it’s that “manly” half-hug where you bump opposite shoulders for a half a second 🙂
I do this in my personal life and business interactions – men and women.
Usually people are ‘okay’ with it, but about 1 out of 10 people will be visibly “uncomfortable” or “weirded-out” by it.
Recently, someone asked me about this.. They asked me why I hugged everyone and if it had a negative impact with the people I’ve met.
I said, “I didn’t know.”
She seemed to be shocked by my response.
So she asked my I didn’t know.
I said, “Because I don’t care.”
She asked “why?”
My philosophy is: if people are “freaked-out” by my hugging them, they probably aren’t the people I want in my life.
She went into the diatribe about how I should be more aware of people’s feelings yadda, yadda, yadda…
I UNDERSTOOD what she was saying, but didn’t really agree…
So she asks, “So what if Richard Branson or some other billionaire wanted to meet you but were uncomfortable with you hugging them, you’d miss out on what they had to offer….”
I smiled and said, “You’re right.”
—-
So, I’m posing a few questions to my readers:
Is it weird to hug people that you don’t know…and what do you think about the idea of ‘not caring’ if people are freaked out about hugs??
Do you think it’s worth it to stop hugging people for the sake of “what they could offer you?”
Antonio,
I luv your take on this. I am more of a shaker, but there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with a hug. When someone reaches to hug me I feel that it’s showing love. Rather than feel uncomfortable how about accepting the love.
It’s fine to respect someone’s feelings but if you feel the urge to express yourself in this way, don’t hold back.
There are millions/billions of people on earth who love hugs 😉
Don’t compromise who You are because of what others may think, say, or do in response to you being you.
Great Stuff!
RB
I am both but the shaker usually turns into a hugg. People I know know i am a hugger.
You already know the answer to this question.
You said so in the beginning of this post:
My philosophy is: if people are “freaked-out” by my hugging them, they probably aren’t the people I want in my life.
So whether they have money
or not, if they are
freaked out by what you
offer- what you bring to
the table, they are probably someone you don’t want in your life.
Keep hugging and don’t worry so much about what
others think about you.
Namaste
I feel the same way, I am both… If I can tell that the person isnt up tight then I’ll give them a hug. But I kinda care what they are feeling so I don’t try to “step on their toes” if ya know what I mean… But I am told that I am weird anyway so I don’t care….I like who I am.
I’m a hugger..and proud of it weird or not..there is a girl i work w..she and i give the best hugs to each other..u would think we have a realtionship..lol..but it is so nice to lovingly hug someone warmly and feel that back..it is a nice way to continue my day..giving and feeling the love…
I am a shaker and understand some people being put off by hugging when first meeting someone. Some people are afraid of getting that close to someone they don’t know. I don’t think it’s really weird to be a hugger, it’s just not what people are used to. And do not ever change who you are just because other people may think you are weird. It takes courage to be different.
I am definitely a hugger! I don’t care what others think – I believe that most people actually enjoy it … 🙂
We should know if we should shake a hand or give a hug? As we are all on a “Spiritual Path”, we must necessarily be aware of our surroundings and of those we interact with. We must respect our own feelings, thereby respecting the feelings of others. If an action is not honest, helpful or kind, it should not be done. Making another feel uncomfortable or not caring if our actions causes another to feel uncomfortable only causes unnecessary strain to another and to ourselves. It is not helpful to one’s spiritual progress to upset another’s sense of well being. We may get by with it, but we will never get away with it.
I won’t ever turn down a hug but I’m very shy around people so not really one to initiate them.
I don’t think you’re weird at all either for giving hugs or for not caring what people think of you when you do. If they can’t accept you for who you are, then you’re right … they’re not someone you want in your life.
Antonio, I have always been a shaker. When I shake someone’s hand, I look into their eyes. I also notice the style of handshake from the other person. A lot of Los Angeles Entertainment agents have a weak shake, while some professionals in many industries have a very firm handshake.
You introduced me to a new way of thinking. From now on, I will be a hugger. I was at a recent James Ray event, and almost every person I hugged during the many exercises complimented me on my hug, both male and female.
I hope you continue to have more blog and podcasts in the future. I have not seen any new twitter action since July.
I always look forward to your wisdom and thoughts.
Keep on hugging!!!!
Pass it on. There’s not enough pure spiritual love in this world…
I don’t care what people think, yet we do have to give them human respect. Especially the one’s that have more processing to do in their lives. The art of allowing…
Share the Love!!!
I definitely hug people I have come to know. I definitely would not stop hugging or start based on what someone could offer me. That is a very self serving idea. And I do try to maintain a standard of respecting other peoples personal space. You will notice that those from a deep country area will command a much larger personal space than someone from the city. Such a person would feel very uncomfortable if you were to stand closer than a metre when in conversation, whereas a city dweller might have a much smaller conversation space. A person from Japan may be confronted and offended by you stepping into their personal space uninvited, however someone from Italy may find your greeting quite normal. I guess it comes down to widening your view of someone elses world and thinking about someone elses comfort before your own. That is my way of seeing the world anyway.
Hi, Hug on….
I shake hands when I am first introduced, then when I am saying good bye, I hug! I never have had a weird repsonse, it maybe that because people consider me eye candy!LOL
Seriously, love needs to be shared.To much crap in the world!Peace!
I am a true hugger and really look forward tot he day we have the time to hug for as long as we need to connect on a deep level every time we hug. It just makes my day!
Antonio,
I think you should be yourself and do what’s comfortable to you. I like giving hugs and receiving them as well!
Pat
Antonio,
I’m from HAWAII, and therefore, HUGGING is how we were brought up.
It was so strange to me, when I moved to the mainland, that when I was introduced to someone, they automatically stuck out their hand for a handshake…
Infact, I just attended my 30th Class Reunion and EVERYONE there HUGGED each other upon first seeing one another, as well as afterwards when they were moving on to see someone else.
HUGGING is my way…Aloha!