December 11

Dang You're Stupid! Changing Your Self-Talk

  • Minutes Read

I'm So StupidI just had an interesting conversation with a young lady.

I was at a store getting a few things, and as the young lady behind the counter was ringing up the order, she accidentally hit the wrong key, and apparently wiped the entire order out instead of tallying it up.

When she recognized that she did this, she hit the counter in disgust and said, “Dang, I’m so stupid for doing that!”

Of course, you know me; I saw this as a great opportunity to share some wisdom.

I banged on the counter the same way she did, and said “Dang, you’re so stupid for doing that!”

The look on her face went from frustrated and disappointed to a confused and angry look.

She ask, “Why would you say that to me?” I said “I’m just saying the same thing that you said to yourself….”

Her response was “Well, that’s different. YOU can’t go around saying that people are stupid… “I” can say whatever I want to say about myself. It’s just plain ole’ mean to go around telling other people that they’re stupid.”

Of course, this conversation was going down the exact path I wanted it to, because this opened up a great opportunity for learning and sharing with the young lady how powerful her words are.

I explained to her how the things she says to herself are exponentially more powerful than anything anyone else could say about her. However, she gives other people more validity when they are saying things about her.

The point I made was: she obviously didn’t get upset with herself for calling herself stupid, but she did get upset with me for saying the exact same thing. How ironic!

I went on to tell her that continuing to call herself stupid is a very self-defeating and destructive habit; because over time, she’ll start (subconsciously) believing that she’s stupid. And of course, she’ll end up attracting more situations that “proves she’s stupid”.

I told her that, by no means did I really think she was stupid…and that she shouldn’t either.

She thanked me…

I left 🙂

Practical Application

Be aware of the things you’re saying to yourself, because your word is way more powerful than anything anyone else could say about you.

Be very aware of any self defeating or negative self talk that you may be having about yourself.

Ask yourself “How would I respond if someone else were saying this about me?” The majority of the time, you’ll find that you would be angered or offended by someone else saying those exact things that you’re saying to yourself.

Keep that in mind the next time you come down on yourself for whatever reason.


positive self talk, self defeat, self sabatoge, self talk

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  1. Ha! I just told that to A bunch of kids that think that they need to be in a gang to feel strong. If they feel strong they won’t need to be in gangs. They’re feeling what I’m saying. The funny part about the program is that the parents and officers try to scare them out when being scared is what lead them to gangs in the first place ha ha.
    Thanks for the post.

  2. Antonio,

    This was brilliant! How impressive, the wherewithal you had to bring this to her attention. I love the unselfishness that you showed by sharing this realization with her. You were born to do this!!!!–lol

    I’m putting this one in my purse to share with those who I’m sure could benefit from this information.


  3. Antonio, I LOVE how you explained this to the young woman by showing her how her belief was holding her back. She was telling herself something negative without realizing its power. I’ve been reading Free Mind Free Body by D.R. Boisse and it talks about how your self talk (beliefs) create your reality. That you are always listening to yourself. A very profound thought. You can read a few free chapters at

  4. All so true Antonio. Negative thoughts along with negative speech, creates a negative lifestyle. Your self asteem and confidence drops, and you become very withdrawn.I have recently read a book called “Being Happy” by Andrew Mathews. This book changes your mindset to thinking positive so that you can create positive outcomes into your life. I find myself returning to recap different paragraphs on a daily basis as certain things pop up in my daily life . Something to think about. It definenately works for me.

  5. Saw the headline of this post and was tempted to read through. Wow, I never thought that that was a big deal! I used to do that sometimes when I mess up, like excusing myself for failing. But I noticed I’m not doing it anymore. Perhaps because my mind already shifted to practicing LOA. Thank you for posting this up.

  6. Thanks for this post. A gentle reminder for most of us who are filled with self-doubt and will say negative things about our self.

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