Okay, this is very very important, read this 10 or 15 times.
A While ago, I had a conversation with a friend, and I was explaining to her a really weird situation where I ran into a challenge, made some changes, ran into another challenge, make a little more changes, and ran into another challenge, and she used the phrase, “You just can’t win if you’re losing.”
Now, this is very important, so please pay attention.
One of the absolute most mind boggling questions that anyone who is practicing the law of attraction has is: “Why are things not manifesting or manifesting as quickly as I would like to?
The answer is simple: it’s because of some type of “resistance” you have for the things you say want.
When you ask, the Universe ALWAYS provides-ALWAYS. However you will only receive to the degree you allow these things to come to you.
If you’ve asked for things and they aren’t coming, it’s because there is some form of resistance or blocks that is keeping you from receiving what you want.
So you maybe asking:
- How do I find out where my blocks are?
- How do I determine where my resistance is?
- How is it that I’m preventing the things I want to come to me to come?
- How do I make that happen?
- How do I find that out what these things are?
Well, there’s no real easy answer to any of those questions.
But, I’m gonna share with you a story that was so powerful for me today that it almost brought me to tears.
Years ago, I had a really good friend of mine named Vic. Vic and I were great friends, and during that time, I was transitioning from one of my businesses which was a pager and cellphone company to the technology company that I ran for several years.
Well, Vic and I kinda had this ongoing joke that I initiated, because I started saying it about myself. There were several instances where things didn’t quite workout the way I wanted them to. There were times where things just kind of stacked against me and it created a lot of challenges in my life. Well, I jokingly used to say, “Man, I’m such a loser.” Then laugh.
I used to say that over and over; “Man, I’m such a loser… Man, I’m such a loser.” and it was a joke, now.”
Now just to be clear, I wasn’t really, beating myself up or coming down on myself. It was just a joke. Something happen, and I would say, “Oh man, I’m such a loser.” It was funny at the time and we’d laughed about it.
I shared that with him and a few other people and, we thought it was funny.
Now this was pre-knowledge of law of attraction; so obviously, I didn’t know any better doing that back then, ’cause I didn’t realize what I was creating for myself.
Not only, putting out the constant affirmation of ‘I’m a loser’ but actually putting good feelings around that, laughing about it!! So, I was bringing more of ‘I’m a loser’ to myself, but anyway, getting back to the point I was making.
This went on for several, several months until something happened and Vic and I were actually together and he was able to see how odd the situation that had happened.
It was totally weird: One thing led to the next, which led to the next, which led to the next, and it was like, it was just totally amazing how this had happened that this situation just turned out to be not what I wanted it to be.
Well, we were laughing about it and Vic says this to me, laughing; he goes, “Man, you’re such a loser!”
Now, I know Vic didn’t mean anything by that, I know he wasn’t being malicious or trying to hurt my feelings or anything. Why? because I had been saying the same thing over and over and over again about myself, so why wouldn’t he feel comfortable saying the same thing to me.
Of course he felt comfortable saying it to me, because I had been saying it about myself for so long, and hey, we were jokin’ around; there was no malicious intent behind it.
Well, I have to tell you the truth, I went home that night and I felt horrible; I kept hearing him saying that over and over in my head.
I’ve never even shared this story with Vic, but I felt, I felt like a loser.
I really and truly felt like a loser to have someone else say to me, “You’re such a loser.” I was devastated and again I know Vic did not say this with any intention on hurting my feelings or making me feel bad. I know, it was totally in jest and it was totally coming from a humorous and joking perspective, but it hit me, it hit me really hard.
I talk about this in my instantaneous beliefs post about how we say things about ourselves and we instantly believe them but when we hear them from outside places, they tend to land differently for us.
Just so you know, I never, never said that about myself ever again at that time, this was like 15 years ago, I’ve never said that about myself or anything even resembling that since that time.
But, here’s the point I’m making: the situation that I was dealing with earlier today was extremely frustrating and I could not really see where this was coming from. It was getting increasingly frustrating. The more I thought about it, the more frustrating it got, the worse the situation got. The worse it got, the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got, the worse it got.
It was just horrible and here again I hear this person saying to me, “Oh, you just can’t win for losing.”
Now, for the time period that I had been saying this, “I’m a loser, I’m a loser, I’m a loser, I’m a loser.” Not only was I putting ‘I’m a loser’ out into the universe to bring more situations to prove to me that I’m a loser, I was actually programming my subconscious into believing that I was a loser.
Now, what does this have to do with recognizing your blocks and places where you’re resisting?
Really look back at your life, look at some of the things you said about yourself, look at some of the things you believed about yourself, look at some of the actions you took that may have reflected what you believe or felt about yourself. It may not be an easy thing to do particularly without some type of guidance whether that be a coach or a hypnotist or therapist or even just a friend.
Think about some of these things that you may have been putting out there into the universe for yourself, years ago, that may have been lying in the deep dark crevices of your mind but surfacing on a regular basis and you don’t even realize it. I may have been holding on to a large degree ‘I’m a loser’ creating certain situations that precipitated me being a loser or things not working out for me or things being unfairly stacked against me, and this is really, really powerful.
This is really powerful, and I really and truly encourage you to really do this for yourself. I encourage you to take the time, think about these things. Think about how you see yourself and what you’re saying about yourself. Take a look at the Law Of Attraction, Are you Killing Yourself? post. Also keep in mind that these beliefs about yourself could be coming from other places as well.
This was just so powerful for me that it stopped me right in my tracks and I couldn’t even continue the conversation.
I couldn’t even think because it was just so powerful to know, “Hey!” Here’s a potential block or a potential place of resistance that you may be exerting on yourself.” And I came to that awareness through the casual conversation with a friend.
So, do whatever you can to reach back into those years past that you may have been creating something that is manifesting in your life now. Take some time, really think about that, really take yourself back to these times where you originated these beliefs that you are living into right now.
Change those thoughts, change that behavior and you’ll see change in your life.
Here’s to finding your resistance.
This is such a wonderful post. I kept setting goals, but I always found myself in situations where I would be working AGAINST those very same goals. But as soon as I started changing my self-image and I reset my goals, I’ve interviewing for a better job, moving into a better home, negotiating for more money, etc. This post really came when I needed it most. Thanks Antonio!
I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your show. You’ve got one of the best voices in podcasting! Sometimes you make me cry, sometimes I laugh, but you always make me think!!!
Thanks and keep the shows coming,
Laura Adams – MBA Working Girl Podcast
I just want to first say…I LOVE your podcast! 🙂 Second I want to say that I can relate to this blog. I am so use to critiquing and underestimating myself(serious or not). And from doing that, I do set myself up for more disappointments. Now, however, I’m tyring not to think or say negative things about myself and somewhat things are slowly starting to change. I hope the change gets bigger.
Thanks for sharing that Antonio. That is a very tough thing to admit to yourself , but when you get a realisation like that and you look at it as a chance to heal something then what a difference it makes.
You are such a winner Antonio!
Thank you SOOOOO much for your wonderful comments.
After I wrote this post I took a couple of days off to take care of a few things. It was absolutely wonderful to come back and see that I’ve touched a few people and helped them on their journey.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again…every time – (and I do mean EVERY, single time) I think no one’s listening and I’m just talking to myself, I get comments like this. Amazing how the Universe works.
This is truly what life is about.
Thank you all for being so beautiful and allowing me to be a small piece of your lives.