Listen To Antonio Live
I’m often asked about Law Of Attraction in relationships…
The main question I get is, “How do I attract a certain person to myself?” Other variations are, “how can I get this person to like me?” or “how can I use LOA to get this person to notice me?”
Well, the short answer is – you can’t
You cannot manifest or create anything for anyone else. It’s just not possible.
And would you want to?
Would you want to be with someone whom you’ve manipulated Universal laws to be with?
What if that person isn’t ‘meant’ to be with you… What if the greater good for everyone is that you two not be together… what if…
just what if “this person just isn’t into you?” (to quote sex in the city)
Would you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
“But Antonio, we have all these things in common, we’re soooo compatible, we are great together, etc.”
Yeah, well I don’t want to sound mean, but what if they’re more compatible and ‘better’ for someone else. Or maybe they’re on a journey right now that’s teaching them necessary life lessons that they need for their growth and development.
In fact you may have some lessons that you need to learn before you could be in a relationship with them.
“But you really like them…” you say? “You really, really want to be with them…” you say?
Let me put it into perspective for you…
What if Becky Hasseldorf from the 5th grade (yeah the girl with the really bad acne and the coke bottle glasses) who had this huge crush on you manipulated the Universe to be with you? How would you feel?
What would you think if Lizard Larry who used to fart on people and throw boogers at you in the lunchroom was diligently manifesting a lifetime relationship with you?
You wouldn’t want that.
It’s the same thing.
The key to happiness in relationships is to focus on the feeling you would have in the relationship you want. If you want someone to love and respect you…cherish the ground you walk on, etc. Then focus on those feelings, not the person.
This is what I inappropriately did with Deanne – my ex. I loved her like no other woman – more than I knew I had the capacity to love..but I also attached ‘love’ to Deanne. She was such phenomenal woman that even though I thought I was in love before, loving her was on another level. It was surreal. In my mind, ‘love and ‘Deanne’ didn’t exist separately…they were totally synonymous for me.
This isn’t a horrible thing, but it’s not good either. I wasn’t allowing love to be love and Deanne to be Deanne. So when we broke up, I ‘lost love’. Which on a spiritual level is impossible. You can never lose love because love is something that is in you…you’re made of it. So you can’t ‘lose’ it. But in my mind I did. Which was got me down.
I felt like I ‘lost’ it because, again, I attached love to Deanne, and when she left, I didn’t feel I would be able to find ‘love’ again.
And I stayed in this funk for about 2 1/2 years (prior to learning the principles of Law Of Attraction). And what totally stunk is for all that time, I couldn’t attract a woman to save my life. It was horrible.
But when I did I was able to quickly turn things around very quickly. What I did was: I focused on what I wanted in a relationship, not on what I had in our relationship.
I focused on mutual love and respect
I focused on fun and laughter
I focused on passion and romance
I focused on all the things I wanted to have in a relationship. And it felt good.
When I did start focusing on the things I wanted someone showed up with all the qualities. For 2 1/2 years I couldn’t attract anyone…but as soon as I focused on what I wanted, someone showed up.
So if you want to attract a mate in your life, stay focused on the feelings of the relationship you want…not the person.
And by the way…yes, I intend on having my relationship book out by February. 😉