Listen to this important newsflash LIVE!
01.19.07 06:36 – World Wide New Flash CNN, New York Times, Chicago Sun, Los Angeles Times, London Press, BBC*
After 59 years of grueling research and 937 million dollars of privately invested research dollars, the team at the Human Understanding and General Science organization, have PROVEN with hard scientific evidence fact that
12 HUGS ACTUALLY ADDS ONE DAY TO A HUMAN BEINGS LIFE!!!!
Yes you read that correctly!
For every 12 hugs you give/receive, you are adding one day to your life!
This is a MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH!!!!
The expert team of scientists, philosophers, religious experts, and grandmas at the Human Understanding And General Science organization (HUGS). Have effectively discovered the fountain of youth and the secret to living FOREVER!
I don’t know all the details but, from my understanding, the energy transfer during hugging stimulates the hypothalamus (the part of the brain that sits near the pituitary gland and controls chemical release of various hormones in the brain). This activity triggers neurotransmitters which release the hormone Gudlonglif into the bloodstream and this is what adds one day to your life.
Just imagine, by getting (or giving) 12 hugs per day, you could live for ever. This is truly an amazing discovery for mankind!
Hey, what’s wrong?
You seem a little skeptical…
What? you don’t believe me?
Okay, yeah I made all this up… ya got me… but what if I didn’t?
Hey go get your 12 hugs anyway!! 🙂
Here’s the legal crap that hopefully keeps me out of trouble:
* none of these news organizations either reported this event or endorse it (though they should). All trademarks are the property of their respective owners.