It seemed to me that some people needed to learn to mind their own business. Now I don’t share that to be rude. I actually believe that one of the most self loving things a person could do for themselves is mind their own business.

Here’s what I mean….

If you watched “The Secret” you might recall the section on relationships and the statement that we cannot create in someone else’s reality. What this means is that each of us is solely responsible for what is showing up in our lives. Pleasant or unpleasant it is our own beliefs that have created those things.

When we mind our own business we allow for two main things to take place. First we relieve ourselves of the frustration that comes from “judging” others. Often when we are not minding our own business we find it necessary to tell others how to live their lives and if they choose not to follow our advice, which is often unsolicited, then we get upset and want to know what’s wrong with this person…why can’t they just do what I tell them. Well it’s probably because it’s not their time or they just don’t want to.

The other thing we allow to take place when we mind our own business is that we free ourselves up to focus our energy on creating what we truly want in our own lives. We allow ourselves the ability to look at what is going one in our world and choose how we want to proceed without the distraction of looking at what someone else is doing, not doing or saying.

So I have made a resolve that I will mind my own business…will you?

Practical Application

If you find yourself wanting to tell someone else how to live their lives, especially when they have not asked for your input, ask them if you might share your insight with them. Share your thoughts without the need to make them accept or apply it into their lives. Choose to allow them to have their own journey just the way they want it.

So this weekend Nikki’s mom is coming to visit. Our first time meeting….

Am I nervous?

Of course not

He, he, he.

Well maybe a little, itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny bit…

But it’s like the same nervousness before you go on stage or a job interview… and what do I know about interviewing for a job? HA! I’ve gotten fired from every job I’ve ever had. Hope that’s no indication of how the weekend will go

Just kidding.

I know it’s going to be great. I’m really looking forward to it.

I’ll keep you updated!!

Antonio

No! Not THAT debate… the debate about does the Universe distinguish between big and small things…. (get your mind out of the gutter)
Well, the truth of the matter is that the Universe supports you in what you do, say, think and believe. So if you think it’s ‘harder’ to manifest a million dollars than it is to manifest $1, then the Universe will support you in that.

For the Universe, everything is everything…nothing is big (or small) in the ‘eyes’ of the Universe. If you put the intention out and allow things to flow to you, the Universe provides, every time – without fail. The ONLY thing that keeps you from receiving the things you ask for is you. More specifically, your belief in having the things you ask for.

So if you don’t believe you can live in the million dollar home or deserve the wonderful mate or can be have a 100% healthy body or whatever…then you won’t.

Henry Ford said, “whether a man believes he can do a thing or not, he’s right..”

So, I’m I suggesting that you don’t “go for it all” and only focus on the ‘little’ things?

Not really, but kinda.

Let me explain:

Let’s say you’re making $50,000 per year now and your desire is to make 50 million. Instead of focusing on the $50M, you may want to consider focusing on doubling your income next year, then tripling it, and so on, up to the $50M. I say this because the jump from $50K to $50M is not only a huge financial jump, but it’s a QUANTUM paradigm leap – mentally. You have to ‘be’ a totally different person to attract $50M than you do to attract $50K. It’s not to say that you couldn’t do it, but they are two totally different people. And very few people have the ability to make such a huge paradigm shift.

Now let me be very clear on something. I will NEVER – EVER try to ‘steal your dreams’ and tell you that you can’t do it. I truly believe that you can do what ever you set your mind to do. However, when things don’t work out the way we like them to, we tend to get ‘disappointed’ and start doubting things…which can make the desires that much harder to achieve.

Consider this: You just started playing golf. You’ve never played before and you have no idea what you’re doing. Is it feasible to think that you’ll be able to beat Tiger Woods next week?

One of the things most people do after watching the Secret or learning about Law of Attraction is they run out and do vision boards with private jets, Maybachs, multi-million dollar homes, etc…These things are great, but if after a few months they don’t see these things manifesting, people become discouraged to the point of disbelief and some just give up.

One thing you have to keep in mind is that however old you are now…all the thoughts you had for the years leading up to now got to you to where you are – that’s doesn’t always change overnight. However, when we start with accomplishing ‘small’ things, we are encouraged, which raises our vibrations and helps bring our ‘big’ desires to us even faster. I talked about how I was able to manifest $100K in a week. But guess what, it wasn’t because I was focusing on the $100k, it was because I was focusing on $15k at the time and I totally blew the $15K out of the water and made almost 7 times what I intended.

Just like Richard Dreyfuss told Bill Murray in the movie What About Bob, take “baby steps”

Going back to the golf example: your initial focus should be on just hitting the ball without hurting yourself. Then on to hitting it straight, then far, etc. All the while, keeping the ‘bigger’ goal of beating Tiger Woods in the back of your mind, but focusing on the baby steps.

Though I’ve said it once, I want to be 100% clear here:

My intention is not to discourage anyone from going after their dreams…it’s quite the opposite. I encourage everyone to dream ‘big’, however I’ve found with the hundreds of people I’ve coached, that taking baby steps have not only helped to achieve their desires faster, but the multiple, continual ‘successes’ have done wonders for their self-esteem and self-confidence.

Now on the other hand, if you feel you have the ability to transform yourself into the person you need to be to attract the ‘big’ things you desire, then I say, “Go for it!”

My suggestion is to take the ‘big’ desires you have and break them down into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Focus on those consistent successes; and literally before you know it, you’d have hit your larger goals.

Yours in success.

I went on a ‘date’ today.

I spent 7 1/2 hours with the absolutely most phenomenal woman….and it was our first date! How about that?!?

I have one word to describe today…
Phenomenal
Outrageous
Amazing
Fantastic
Extraordinary
Incredible
Miraculous
Mind-Blowing

Oops, did I say one word…? Sorry.

OH-MY-GOSH!!! There is soooooo much I want to say about how today went, but (believe it or not) I’m at a loss for words to describe how I feel right now. More on that below…

One of the places we went was to IKEA. Why go to IKEA on a first date you ask? She wanted to buy something and she had the choice of buying it a Target or IKEA…so we went to IKEA. (side note: now that I’ve actually been there, there really isn’t a choice…sorry Target).

I’d never been there before. I’d heard so much about how great it is, bla, bla, bla, but I never went. I just never paid it any attention. It made me think of my Scary Room post. Having something you want to do in the back of your mind, but never getting around to doing it, but when you do…you absolutely love it.

Suggestion: Go out and do something different tomorrow. It doesn’t’ have to be ‘big’, just do something different. Try a new route home from work, go to a restaurant you’ve never been to before…anything. In fact, try something new everyday for the next week…even if it’s only getting a different flavored frappuccino… this will get your mind used to doing new stuff, so when it’s time to do those ‘big’ things that you’ve been putting off, your brain won’t be as hesitant.

ACTIVITY: Come back and post what you’ve decided to do differently for the next 7 days and we can see how much fun we have with this…

Okay. On to the purpose of this post…

[drum roll again]

The woman I went out with looks like the woman on my vision board…(to be continued)

I’m often asked about Law Of Attraction in relationships…

The main question I get is, “How do I attract a certain person to myself?” Other variations are, “how can I get this person to like me?” or “how can I use LOA to get this person to notice me?”

Well, the short answer is – you can’t

You cannot manifest or create anything for anyone else. It’s just not possible.

And would you want to?

Would you want to be with someone whom you’ve manipulated Universal laws to be with?

What if that person isn’t ‘meant’ to be with you… What if the greater good for everyone is that you two not be together… what if…

just what if “this person just isn’t into you?” (to quote sex in the city)

Would you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

“But Antonio, we have all these things in common, we’re soooo compatible, we are great together, etc.”

Yeah, well I don’t want to sound mean, but what if they’re more compatible and ‘better’ for someone else. Or maybe they’re on a journey right now that’s teaching them necessary life lessons that they need for their growth and development.

In fact you may have some lessons that you need to learn before you could be in a relationship with them.

“But you really like them…” you say? “You really, really want to be with them…” you say?

Let me put it into perspective for you…

What if Becky Hasseldorf from the 5th grade (yeah the girl with the really bad acne and the coke bottle glasses) who had this huge crush on you manipulated the Universe to be with you? How would you feel?

What would you think if Lizard Larry who used to fart on people and throw boogers at you in the lunchroom was diligently manifesting a lifetime relationship with you?

You wouldn’t want that.

It’s the same thing.

The key to happiness in relationships is to focus on the feeling you would have in the relationship you want. If you want someone to love and respect you…cherish the ground you walk on, etc. Then focus on those feelings, not the person.

This is what I inappropriately did with Deanne – my ex. I loved her like no other woman – more than I knew I had the capacity to love..but I also attached ‘love’ to Deanne. She was such phenomenal woman that even though I thought I was in love before, loving her was on another level. It was surreal. In my mind, ‘love and ‘Deanne’ didn’t exist separately…they were totally synonymous for me.

This isn’t a horrible thing, but it’s not good either. I wasn’t allowing love to be love and Deanne to be Deanne. So when we broke up, I ‘lost love’. Which on a spiritual level is impossible. You can never lose love because love is something that is in you…you’re made of it. So you can’t ‘lose’ it. But in my mind I did. Which was got me down.

I felt like I ‘lost’ it because, again, I attached love to Deanne, and when she left, I didn’t feel I would be able to find ‘love’ again.

And I stayed in this funk for about 2 1/2 years (prior to learning the principles of Law Of Attraction). And what totally stunk is for all that time, I couldn’t attract a woman to save my life. It was horrible.

But when I did I was able to quickly turn things around very quickly. What I did was: I focused on what I wanted in a relationship, not on what I had in our relationship.

I focused on mutual love and respect

I focused on fun and laughter

I focused on passion and romance

I focused on all the things I wanted to have in a relationship. And it felt good.

When I did start focusing on the things I wanted someone showed up with all the qualities. For 2 1/2 years I couldn’t attract anyone…but as soon as I focused on what I wanted, someone showed up.

So if you want to attract a mate in your life, stay focused on the feelings of the relationship you want…not the person.

Antonio

And by the way…yes, I intend on having my relationship book out by February.

My ‘short’ definition of a demonstration is the universe showing you an ‘example’ of what’s to come and a it’s way to show you that you’re on the right path. This is a great way to deepen your ‘faith’ or belief that the Universe is operating on your behalf.

To give you a quick personal example: As many of you may know, I’ve been in the process of manifesting a wife for myself. Not too long ago, I met two women who were sooooo close to the woman I visualize spending the rest of my life with, but weren’t exactly what I wanted.

One was like 97% of what I wanted, but that 3% was so important to me that I wasn’t willing to entertain the relationship – She didn’t want children. Not happening for me.

The other one…whoa. Just an amazing woman – geez! I can’t begin to explain…but long story short: she had a boyfriend (good for her – and REALLY good for him too )

So my point?

Neither of these women were available to me at the time…for very obvious reasons. But showed up.

Why?

To show me to stay on the path, keep doing what I’m doing…the time is coming soon.

Look for the demonstrations in your life. They could be anything…

• Like if you’re manifesting wealth and abundance in your life…a demonstration could be finding pennies on the ground.
• If you’re manifesting a better job, a demonstration could be finding really great job opportunities, you don’t get the position.
• If you’re manifesting a new house, a demo could be you finding home listings that close, but not quite what you’re looking for…

All these things could be the Universe saying, “Hey, stay on course, your desires are just around the corner…”

At the time, I really wanted to get to know her better because it’s not often you have that type of connection with someone, but it just didn’t happen.

Not really sure what happened actually, but we just never connected. In fact, I even called a few days after we met and didn’t hear back.

So I just let it go. I actually physically said to myself aloud, “If it’s meant for us to connect, we will.” I’ve never really said that to myself before and it felt a little weird…but there was still a sense of peace about it.

I just totally let it go.

3 months later…I had dinner with several friends tonight. She was there.

more to come…

I did something the other day that kinda offended someone I really care about.

Of course I didn’t do it on purpose, but it happened – and it had the effect that that it did, despite the intent.

She admitted she was somewhat upset about it, but said she was more confused about the whole thing and wanted clarity on why I did it.

Well, we talked about it and I had an opportunity to explain what happened. We squashed the whole thing in about 15 minutes.

WOW

The real beauty of the whole thing was that she was able to come to me and ‘talk about it’. She took responsibility for how she was feeling and address them head on. Not in an argumentative and belligerent kinda way… But in a “Hey, you did this thing and I think it stinks…” way.

And I thought it was TOTALLY cool.

I’d have to say it was an absolutely wonderful 15 minutes…minutes that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Yes, they were a little uncomfortable because no one likes to find out that they’d offended someone else, but the fact that we were able to just talk about it was HUGE.

To be able to have that type of conversation and end up closer at the end of it is truly magic.

I don’t care what you say…communication heals all.

If there are some ‘hanging’ conversations you need to have with your boss, your mate, your friend, or even yourself, go ahead and make them happen…

Visualize how you see the conversation going and what result you want to end up with and put the intention out that the conversation be for the greater good of all those involved. I’m sure you’ll be amazed at the results.
Peace