I was at the Salsa club last night and I saw a young lady with a really nice green dress standing in the corner with her arms folded. As I got closer to her, it appeared to me that she didn’t want to be there.
She wasn’t smiling, or looking like she was enjoying herself…in fact she looked like she was mad.
So I asked her why she wasn’t dancing.
She said, “because no one is going to dance with me.”
I ask her why… and she said, “because I’m just learning and I’m not that good”
I replied, “So, how is anyone supposed to know that you’re new and aren’t that good? It’s not like you have on a neon sign that says Salsa Dancer in Training…”
So she says to me, “Well no one’s asked me to dance, so I must be wearing a sign…”
I asked her if she was open to me sharing an observation with her… I never try to force myself on other people, so I make it a point to ask people if they’re open for coaching… she agreed.
I said, “In my opinion, I don’t think people aren’t asking you to dance because they think you’re bad, I think it’s because they think you’re MAD… You’re an attractive young lady but you look like you would bite someone’s head off.”
She said, “I’m mad because I got all dressed up, drove down here and no one will ask me to dance…
I said, “Maybe no one’s asking you BECAUSE you’re mad.”
She replies, “So what are you, some kind of psychiatrist or something?”
I said, “Not quite, but I do recognize when people aren’t living up to their potential and not getting what they want out of life.”
So this conversation went on for a few more minutes, but she actually started loosening up…she actually laughed a couple of times.
I asked her, “If I could show you one thing that would ‘magically’ get someone to dance with you…would you do it?”
She hesitated for a moment and said yes.
I said to her…
Close your eyes and think about how it would feel to be dancing.
She didn’t want to close her eyes, but she did tell me that it would feel good dancing.
I asked her “How would it feel if you were dancing right now?” she said it would make her happy and she’d feel like she was a part of the crowd.
I asked her, “So, how do you feel right now?”
She said, “Better”
And before she could utter another word, a guy walked up and asked her to dance.
I love it!!!
After she finished dancing, she came back to me and said, “that was a setup…you had him come over here…”
I didn’t know the guy.
The real reason why he came was because her energy shifted from angry to ‘better’.
What’s my point?
She was living into her lie…
No one knew that she was new to dancing…but she had convinced herself that no one was going to dance with her…even before she got to the club. She was so committed to “getting ignored at the club” that she actually “lived into her lie” by looking mad.
So, ultimately, she was able to “get what she wanted” or prove herself “right” by no one dancing with her…
Are there areas of your life that you’re living into a lie?
Yours in Creation,
By the way, I danced with her as well and…. yes she WAS new… REALLY new. She stomped my toes a couple of times, but it was worth it 🙂
Afterwards, she danced with 4 other guys before she left.